Before you decided to TTC, had you mapped out your money situation? Did you have a plan for after the baby was born? Did you know that you would be going back to work, or did you know that you would be a sahm?
OR
Did you TTC and not plan for after the baby was born? Did you think that you would work it out during your pregnancy or when it got closer to delivery? Did you have a general idea about what you would do and simply work out the details when the time was right?
Simply put, did you plan for after the baby was born during pregnancy, or before?
I have a point, feel free to post without being ridiculed. And NO, I won't be turning the anonymous posting feature back on... to many people running around who can't control themselves...
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We did plan before we started to TTC and during my pregnancy. Before we got pg we paid off all of our debt and about half way through my pregnancy we started living off of DH income and saving all of mine.
We figured I would work until we had #2 and then stay home. However I changed my mind after DD was in daycare for 3 months (good thing because it ended up taking over a year to get pg with #2). Luckily, we had already put ourselves in a situation that allowed me to quit. I went back to work long enough to get annual bonus and profit sharing (about 10k) and then I quit.
Not that I have a kid, but we had kind of hoped things would work themselves out while I was pg (whenever that happened, which it hasn't). Now that money is REALLY tight and the economy sucks, we decided to wait (BCP again). I thought that maybe it would be worked out, considering how long it might take plus the 9 months of pregnancy, but DH wants to not "wing it," so to speak.
Looking back, if I had gotten knocked up our first month TTC, we would have a 5 month old and since we wouldn't qualify for welfare, we'd be going into major debt. Then again I prob wouldn't have started a business if I had been pg (major source of our financial troubles=business startup).
It is my belief that things happen for a reason (and I don't mean "God's will"). Please don't anyone take offense to that.
I'm a planner, so yes, everything was planned. I even managed to get pg on Labor Day weekend, as planned, so the baby would be born Memorial Day weekend and I would get the summer off :)
I went back to work after ds was born, but by then dh was doing well and we didn't really need my salary. So I quit when ds was 6 months old.
Going by the seat of my pants and hoping for the best--or believing that somehow it will all work out--isn't something I would be capable of regarding children. They're a HUGE responsibility, fiscally and otherwise. True, newborns don't REALLY need an enormous wardrobe or tons of toys--but DD needed Nutramigen until she was 12 months. At $25 a can, I am freaking grateful that we could afford it, since it was the ONLY thing she could keep down.
When we decided to TTC #2 a couple of years later, we bought a bigger house and waited...and waited...and waited...we had money saved that I planned to use for either IVF or adoption, which DH impulsively spent on a CAR. Luckily for him, we did conceive dd shortly thereafter.
We did plan that if/when I got pg I would be a SAHM for at least a year, more if finances allowed. I was previously a single mom for 7yrs so I've been in the "wing it" camp and I definately wanted to know where I stood this time around.
When we first started TTC, we were just winging it and would figure things out once it happened. Now that it has been almost 10 years, we have it all planned out that I will be a SAHM as long as we could afford to do so. Daycare is a 2 year waiting list so I would have to get my name on it now to have my child who is not even conceived yet on the list.
We waited to TTC until I was done with grad school and had a full time job. I've always known that I would have to work after kids; our finances don't allow otherwise. We've accepted that and deal with it. Financially we had enough set aside so that I could take maternity leave when necessary.
I personally think it's crap when people don't have their finances in order when they start TTC. Children are a huge financial responsibility. I wouldn't embark upon that journey if I couldn't handle that responsibility.
I've had too many friends that just expect to go on welfare when kids arrive (and they quit working) and it drives me nuts. I'm not busting my ass so you can sit on yours at home.
Well- we were just charting to see what was going on when I got my BFP....but I must say that even though we may not have consciously planned for it, subconsciously we knew it was a possibility and were secure enough financially to be able to handle it.
Sure, we may not be shelling out 400$ for a stroller and 1000$ for a bedroom set- but our daughter has everything she needs, and we aren't in need of any financial assistance. I'm in Canada, so we're also lucky enough to get a paid maternity leave for up to a year (55% of previous salary- when I discovered I was pregnant I took an extra contract and worked more hours at my other job), and you can take another year afterwards at zero pay, but your employer must hold your position or make a similar position available to you upon your return.
When we first started TTC we had it all planned out. I was going to be a SAHM for as long as we could afford it, and we started setting aside a little money for baby stuff and a little more money in to savings for "just in case" things.
But now that its been over a year since we started trying, all those plans kind of went out the window, and we dont really talk about it anymore (too afraid to jinx anything I guess). I guess we've kind of come to the conclusion that you can't plan everything, and now we are kind of on the wing-it side while we wait for that BFP.
I'm a planner, so we planned. A lot of good it did us since it's 3 years later and no baby. But I digress...
I even tried to get on the waiting list at work for daycare, but they changed the policy and won't put you on until you get a BFP. (One of my friends was still waiting by the time her kid went to kindergarten!)
We didn't plan every last detail, but tried to have general things in order. We figured we'd work out the details during the pregnancy. That is still our plan.
We have planned for me to stay home. It was what I always wanted and we are lucky enough to be financially be able to have that arrangement. Actually I have been out for work for a while now, and can't find any work, which would be fine if I could get pg. Then it would all be in place.
When I was working and we had just started TTC, I figured we would work it out as it came.
I try not to become attached to big plans too much, since life kind of happens regardless of what you have planned out.
Plan , A didn't workout ( grr)
Plan B , didnt seem to want to work out .
Plan C , Dunno if it will workout!
I met hubby in 93 and married in 98. Never thought in a million years I could get pregnant because hey! I didn't in 5 years right? Well I got pregnant 10/99. I cried because I was so afraid I screwed up my future (we had both stated we didn't want kids).
After Robert was born and I saw this miracle, this living being that was made up of half of me and half of my husband. I was amazed and awestruck. I understand now literally how your heart could burst from joy, I get this everytime I look at my son.
I want more, I have been denied 17 times but I am only 34 and I won't give up. Better watch out though, if I carry another baby to live birth I will immediately try to get pregnant again.
My goal is 4-5.
Oh and about the money thing. You really don't have to plan for the money thing. I think babies cost way less than "they" say they do. I think if you are responsible and one of you works then it will work out in the end.
I would hope most would get a job to not live in poverty or off the American people's money.
Planned it all out before TTC. Now, facing IF, well, who knows. We'll likely spend the $$ we have saved on IF treatments or adoption. And, if we do either of those, I'll have to stay working FT.
So, right now, I'm just winging it. Both DH and I have great jobs, so we're not too worried. That and ALL my friends have babies, so I can score some hand-me-downs, right? :)
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