This is a post titled 'Mean Blinkie'. The blinkie in question is up at the top, then the original post, and two different responses to this post.
Um, for real? While I understand and sympathize with women who have had tremendous heartache during their TTC journey, this is like telling your neighbors what decorations they can/can't have on their front lawn. It's HER signature, not yours, and it's not up to you to moderate and police someone else's blinkies.
I think the OP is just a little bit sensitive.
Thoughts?
20 comments:
I personally don't like those blinkies. However, if other people want to use them I don't care...I just ignore their signatures.
-BTW- long time lurker, first time comment poster. Love reading the blog and glad to see I haven't made the subject of a post yet :-)
While I understand the prospective of it being one's own siggy (like one's own lawn ornaments), I think that one should be considerate of what they display. I agree with the person who stated that that particular blinky is inappropriate for a TTC site. A pregnancy site - fine. But I agree that on a TTC it can be construed as hurtful.
For example (to continue with the lawn decorations line...) if you were a white person with black neighbors, would it be appropriate to put up a noose in your front yard? It's your yard - you have the right to put what you want. But should you?
I know that PC has gone WAY too far, but that doesn't mean it's time to backtrack so far that we become completely inconsiderate of others.
JMHO. :)
Not trying to offend anyone, but some woman are just to sensitive. I would like to think when she put up that blinkie it was out of pure joy and excitement and not to insensitive to others journeys. We all are in a different place in our journeys with TTC, does that mean others have to conform to us? Do we want to conform to anothers? Face it, no matter what we do someone will be offended.
Normally, I ignore those kinds of blinkies, but if the siggie owner were in my buddy group, like the OP's was, then I might say something(in a pm) as well. Only because there might be others in the BG that feel the same way, and I would want to try and preserve the reparte in the group.
Granted there will be resentment either way, so it's a no win situation.
When it is some random person that I don't share a BG with, I don't really care.
I've never liked that blinkie, both in the 3.5 years of TTC as well as now while I have DD with me. It just always sounded harsh and I'm better than you. I think the OP was very grown up (esp for FF!) in PMing the girl and explaining her feelings and how it may be taken by others. The blinkie owner I thought was a bit much and rude with her response, but considerate and took it down.
One thing that someone noticed but very few people responded with was the fact that the girl wrote back "... considering my history." There is a whole other side to that story that we don't know about.
Perhaps this younger lady (yes people in their 20s can have issues, not just the 'old fogies') had a bunch of issues and we just don't know about them.
Plus the fact that she took the blinkie down shows that she does have some sort of maturity level. Me, if I were in the position, probably would've told her to *f* off cause it was my siggy and I can do with it what I wanted.
How about hitting the 'hide signature' button?
I see quite a few blinkies I find obnoxious, I just avoid those signatures.
I do applaud OP for PMing her instead of reporting her though. There is way too much reporting going on in the FF world these days.
Since whether or not something is considered offensive is largely subjective, you can really never win. Especially in todays hyper-PC world. JMO
I think the blinkie is obnoxious, but, it is her siggy. She did show some class by taking it down, so props to her for that.
I kind of think that if I were in the OP's shoes, had it been on the general TTC boards, I would have kind of grumbled to myself and either hit ignore, or just scrolled down to hide it from view, but had it been a member of a BG (as this was) I probably would have said something as well. And I do think the blinkie owner was a bit curt in her response.
That blinkie does seem in poor taste for a TTC board, I can't imagine, either, that the OP would have been the only one in her BG offended or hurt by it, just maybe the only one to say something about it.
I think that blinkie is very insensitive. It's not just a yay I'm pregnant blinkie, it basically is saying I'm pregnant but you're not so I am better then you. I have never been able to make a human being, but that doesn't mean I am any less of a person then that girl. I would have said something as well.
Man, I must be blind as hell....I can't find this post. Anyone care to point me in the right direction?
I guess my opinion is that just because you can doesn't mean you should. The "I can make people"/"I'm creating a new life what are YOU doing today" blinkies to me are in bad taste, and totally reek of, as Emily mentioned, "I can do it and you can't".
Sure, everyone is entitled to have whatever they want in their signatures, but if someone sent me a relatively respectful pm saying that one of my blinkies could come off as disrespectful for someone who is dealing with IF, I would probably remove it.
I mean, I can understand being excited about being pregnant- hell, when I found out I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. But, I would never want my excitement to come at someone else's expense.
So no, she shouldn't be obligated to remove it...but if I was in that situation I probably would. JMO.
Maybe I am the outcast here and after 17 losses and cravings for another baby killing me softly everyday.........her blinkie, any blinkie is the least of my problems and I wouldn't say something. I am sick of walking around on tip toes around people with this pc crap.
About the noose in the front yard.......that is a definite "not equal". Never knew a blinkie that condoned hanging someone so I don't think they can even be compared.
It's a blinkie folks.
If you don't like a siggy, don't like someone........put them on ignore and skip over them. If enough people do it then they will figure it out.
Hi, it's called the "Hide Signature" button.
One of the girls in my BG has that blinkie. Whatever.
:)
And Amber, I cannot find it either. I'm lame.
I don't see the big deal. Maybe the blinkie is a bit uncalled for, but the OP did the right thing in talking to her about it, and she did the right thing by removing it. End of story. I don't see why the OP had to post about it, that just made the situation worse.
Goes back to the blocking siggies thing...don't like it? Hide it!
I saw similar ones when I was on FF, it struck me as odd but I never cared much about it.
For those that want to see it, it is located on the TTC #2 or more board.
Andrea said...
I don't see the big deal. Maybe the blinkie is a bit uncalled for, but the OP did the right thing in talking to her about it, and she did the right thing by removing it. End of story. I don't see why the OP had to post about it, that just made the situation worse.
Goes back to the blocking siggies thing...don't like it? Hide it!
Andrea - The way I read it, the BG is on another site, so presumably, the girl with the blinkie would not see the post about it on FF. So if she doesn't see it, it probably won't make matters worse.
Now if she just happens to belong to FF, that is a whole different story.
Lisa...good point.
I agree that this blinkie is of bad taste... but to each their own. I have had my share of blinkies/signatures removed... and it's so annoying. I was reported for a blinkie that said: "prone to bitchiness... my husband is deployed." Give me an effin' break.
I think many people are a bit too sensitive. (Myself included on occasion!)
I think everyone has the right to put whatever they want on a blinkie and we all have the right to hit the hide signature button which is exactly what I do.
We don't have the right to tell anyone what is acceptable to put on a blinkie and what isn't....whose standards are we going by, our own, and who do we think we are telling someone else to live by our standards. Sorry, that just doesn't fly with me.
Just my 2 cents.
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