I'm personally not for spanking, but, i also know/have seen some BADASS kids that needed more than a time out and talking to as well. If you do spank, i think it should be a very, very last resort. It's a fine line.
I spank and because I spank I don't have to spank often.
I am so sick of these women that tell me that I am wrong for spanking MY child when their child is a fucking heathen annoying the shit out of everyone else.
Get the fuck out of LA LA Land and discipline YOUR own child before telling me I am wrong. I bet my kid will be your kid's defense attorney!
everyone has their own take on spanking...i honestly think that it depends on the parent AND the child as to whether or not it is appropriate. my son is only 4 months old so right now i cannot tell you if he will be spanked or not. it will all depend on what is necessary to get his attention. if time out works then that is what we will use.
i know i was spanked on occasion as a child. it didn't cause any emotional damage, and i am definitely not an angry or physical person because of it. my parents didn't use it as an anger vent and always told me why they were doing it.
I was spanked. During one of my spankings, my father accidentally cracked one of my ribs (the way he was holding me down over his lap). My father would never have intentionally hurt me, but...there it is. Shit happens, eh?
I have never laid a finger on my 12 year old daughter or my almost 2 year old son, and I never will.
I don't know. My parents were very loving people, and were not abusive, but the act itself most certainly is. JMO
I have 3 children, and yes I have spanked 2 of them. (my youngest isn't 2 yet so he wouldn't understand) I used it as a last resort as punishment for bad behavior. Having said that, it most likely was a swat on the butt to get their attention more than anything. With both my dd's I can count on one hand the number of times I have had to spank them and they are 17 & 10.
I think there is a differnece with the intent and how it is handled. It is a personal choice for what is right or wrong for your family.
My opinion is that 95 times out of 100, there is a better alternative to spanking/smacking.
If it comes down to a swat being necessary, it should NEVER be dealt in anger or frustration. The parent should be calm and the child should be old enough to understand the harsh punishment they are about to receive - and why it is being given.
Too many parents smack out of anger or frustration. That is just wrong. YOU are the one with the problem - YOU should be the one getting smacked.
Perhaps some will think I have no business posting on this topic, since I have no children. Whatever, I'm doing it anyway! ;)
But...I agree with Gina. These days, I see far more "heathen" children, as she described, than quiet, well mannered ones. I'm so sick of seeing parents do the whole time-out thing with a child that's obviously not responding to it.
That being said, I don't think all children require to be spanked. Some children respond better to other forms of punishment.
DH and I were both spanked. His mom did the spanking in their house b/c his dad is a big STRONG guy and he was too scared that no matter how gentle he was, it would injure them. So his mom did it...and to the point where it wasn't affective, LOL. Plus I think the last time she did it he was a teen, LOL. Come on...I mean really?
I only remember being spanked once, and I totally didn't deserve it. So what if my dad found me with my little hands around my sister's neck? She had it coming, LOL!
With that said, I don't think it's wrong to spank if it's done in the right context and as a last resort or if it's a situation serious enough to warrant something extreme...like little hands around little sibling's neck.
I'm not saying I won't spank b/c I just don't know. But it likely won't be the first corrective measure.
As Dawn has stated, I like my ass spanked. I feel it relieves tension and angst.
As you can see from my first post I have not been spanked in awhile but DAMNIT! that will change tonight! Thanks Dawn for the reminder! I was wondering why I was growing a set lately.
I have no kids, but I see nothing wrong with it. A little smack on the butt is not to HURT them, it's to get their attention, and make them feel bad for whatever it is they're getting spanked for.
I was spanked. I am one of the most non-violent ppl you will ever meet.
As an adult, I was in an abusive relationship and that had lots of psychological consequences. Spanking and hitting are two entirely different things!
I think nobody has any business telling someone else whether they are right/wrong for spanking their own child.
Interesting to see that some posts that I started are getting your recognition :)
I plan on spanking my daughter, when it is necessary; ONLY when it is necessary.
On a side note - for the readers of this blog - what started the spanking conversation on FF was a mother at a doctor's office with her 2 children and the youngest (at 16 months) was running around uncontrolled. And I wondered if a little swat on his bottom would've gotten him to at least listen to his mother.
I have spanked my oldest DD once. Well deserved IMO. Otherwise, DH and I just don't do it. Luckily, we have very good kids :)
I agree with Ovadue and her comment about heathen kids. I am appalled by the amount of rude children these days and the parents that let them get away with it. I will never understand why these parents let their kids walk all over them.
I was spanked as a kid. I was always given warning first and if I chose to ignore the warning, I WAS spanked. It was 1-2-3 and if 3 was verbalized, that was IT. There were no second chances, no talking your way out of it, and definitely no 2 and a half, 2 and a quarters!!!
That, in itself, is part of the problem with kids these days. Too many second chances. Parents need to think about what they say, say what they mean, and mean what they say.
Anyway, back to the spanking... I have spanked a couple of times, but I used 3 fingers to graze the edge of her butt, not an open palm. It might sting a little, but that is about it. And I did it when safety is an issue and DD could be seriously hurt if I didn't nip her actions in the bud. It's not an angry thing. She looked angry at me, but after a minute or two, she came to me, gave me a hug, and said SHE was sorry. I returned the feelings to her and we hugged. She's 2 and "gets it."
We called it a swat and she got the message. On a couple of occasions she tried the same behavior and I asked her if she wanted a swat. She said "no swat" and got back "in line."
IMO, properly done, you only have to do it a couple times and the message sticks.
PS - love the "defense attorney" comment, ovadue!!!
long time lurker, 1st time poster here. Waving!! Hi Gina!!! Hi Emily! It's been a long time!
I always was fine with spanking, but dh was abused and is hugely against it. His thought process is that once you raise your hand to your child, you've kind of played all your cards, kwim? His siblings still thank him for the time that he grabbed the wiffle ball bat out of his mom's hands and broke it over his knee, proclaiming, "You will NEVER use this on any of us again." Of course, she also once put his head through a wall. Anyway it seems to me that a spanking is a pretty immediate and quick consequence with an awful lot of controversy. My godsons (note, not a mom, here) seem to fear losing video game time or toy jail much more.
I'm with Ovadue on this one! Norah will be spanked when she is old enough to understand the cause/effect nature of discipline.
I was spanked (and smacked with the wooden spoon a few times by my Italian grandmother)- and can safely say that I probably deserved each and every one of those whacks. Feeding my brother dogfood, pushing him down the stairs, doing something after being told repeatedly not to...yep, that's a paddling.
Funny story- when my cousins were younger, my aunt (their mom's sister) used to live with them, and would thus babysit them often. Once, on the streetcar the younger one (who was 4 or 5 at the time) started acting up bigtime- kicking his older brother, running around and bumping into other people, yelling- generally being a pill. My aunt warned him, and he didn't believe her (he in fact told her that she wasn't going to spank him b/c they were on the streetcar). She pulled him over her lap and gave him a smack on the butt (fully clothed)- in front of the entire streetcar. There was silence....until she said to everyone who was watching "don't tell me that you weren't thinking about doing it too". To which they responded with "you got that right".
...and you best believe my cousin didn't misbehave on the streetcar again! (His words- "You bembarrassed me!!!")
I am the mother of many and yes, I have (when necessary) spanked them all but they have also all been warned before getting spanked.
Now that my kids are getting older, I haven't spanked any of them for years. It's more effective to take their possessions away or ground them. Taking away a cell phone or Wii for a few days or even a week, is a more suitable form of punishment for an older child.
I have some of the most well behaved children and I'm sure it's because they know I'm not afraid to spank them.
I was spanked a couple of times as a kid. I was warned over and over again and would not listen. It was a spank, swat, hit, whatever you call it and was the only thing that got my attention.
Then the fear of the spank got me in line after that.
Since I'm not a parent yet, I'm not sure how I will handle. But it irritates me to no end when I see adults trying to reason with four year olds who are completely out of control, when I think they actually need a good spank to let them know who is in charge.
I did spank my children as a last resort when all else failed.
There is a HUGE difference between a swat on the bottom and child abuse.
For those of you who DON'T have children yet and said you would NEVER spank as there are other 'methods', I might reserve judgement on that until you actually have children, your thoughts might change. The word never is a very long time.
Ugh- the spanking debate is continuing to rage on.
Hey, did you know that you are inflicting "emotional pain" and you are making up for your own shortcomings as a parent if you spank? Oh, but they aren't being judgemental. Riiight.
I betcha some of these peoples' kids are the ones that annoy the crap out of the rest of us in the grocery store, doctor's office, etc.
24 comments:
I'm personally not for spanking, but, i also know/have seen some BADASS kids that needed more than a time out and talking to as well. If you do spank, i think it should be a very, very last resort. It's a fine line.
I spank and because I spank I don't have to spank often.
I am so sick of these women that tell me that I am wrong for spanking MY child when their child is a fucking heathen annoying the shit out of everyone else.
Get the fuck out of LA LA Land and discipline YOUR own child before telling me I am wrong. I bet my kid will be your kid's defense attorney!
And I'll spank your ass if I need to :)
everyone has their own take on spanking...i honestly think that it depends on the parent AND the child as to whether or not it is appropriate. my son is only 4 months old so right now i cannot tell you if he will be spanked or not. it will all depend on what is necessary to get his attention. if time out works then that is what we will use.
i know i was spanked on occasion as a child. it didn't cause any emotional damage, and i am definitely not an angry or physical person because of it. my parents didn't use it as an anger vent and always told me why they were doing it.
I was spanked. During one of my spankings, my father accidentally cracked one of my ribs (the way he was holding me down over his lap). My father would never have intentionally hurt me, but...there it is. Shit happens, eh?
I have never laid a finger on my 12 year old daughter or my almost 2 year old son, and I never will.
I don't know. My parents were very loving people, and were not abusive, but the act itself most certainly is. JMO
I have 3 children, and yes I have spanked 2 of them. (my youngest isn't 2 yet so he wouldn't understand) I used it as a last resort as punishment for bad behavior. Having said that, it most likely was a swat on the butt to get their attention more than anything. With both my dd's I can count on one hand the number of times I have had to spank them and they are 17 & 10.
I think there is a differnece with the intent and how it is handled.
It is a personal choice for what is right or wrong for your family.
My opinion is that 95 times out of 100, there is a better alternative to spanking/smacking.
If it comes down to a swat being necessary, it should NEVER be dealt in anger or frustration. The parent should be calm and the child should be old enough to understand the harsh punishment they are about to receive - and why it is being given.
Too many parents smack out of anger or frustration. That is just wrong. YOU are the one with the problem - YOU should be the one getting smacked.
JMHO
Perhaps some will think I have no business posting on this topic, since I have no children. Whatever, I'm doing it anyway! ;)
But...I agree with Gina. These days, I see far more "heathen" children, as she described, than quiet, well mannered ones. I'm so sick of seeing parents do the whole time-out thing with a child that's obviously not responding to it.
That being said, I don't think all children require to be spanked. Some children respond better to other forms of punishment.
On a side note, Gina likes her ass spanked.
DH and I were both spanked. His mom did the spanking in their house b/c his dad is a big STRONG guy and he was too scared that no matter how gentle he was, it would injure them. So his mom did it...and to the point where it wasn't affective, LOL. Plus I think the last time she did it he was a teen, LOL. Come on...I mean really?
I only remember being spanked once, and I totally didn't deserve it. So what if my dad found me with my little hands around my sister's neck? She had it coming, LOL!
With that said, I don't think it's wrong to spank if it's done in the right context and as a last resort or if it's a situation serious enough to warrant something extreme...like little hands around little sibling's neck.
I'm not saying I won't spank b/c I just don't know. But it likely won't be the first corrective measure.
As Dawn has stated, I like my ass spanked. I feel it relieves tension and angst.
As you can see from my first post I have not been spanked in awhile but DAMNIT! that will change tonight! Thanks Dawn for the reminder! I was wondering why I was growing a set lately.
I have no kids, but I see nothing wrong with it. A little smack on the butt is not to HURT them, it's to get their attention, and make them feel bad for whatever it is they're getting spanked for.
I was spanked. I am one of the most non-violent ppl you will ever meet.
As an adult, I was in an abusive relationship and that had lots of psychological consequences. Spanking and hitting are two entirely different things!
I think nobody has any business telling someone else whether they are right/wrong for spanking their own child.
Child abuse is something completely different.
Interesting to see that some posts that I started are getting your recognition :)
I plan on spanking my daughter, when it is necessary; ONLY when it is necessary.
On a side note - for the readers of this blog - what started the spanking conversation on FF was a mother at a doctor's office with her 2 children and the youngest (at 16 months) was running around uncontrolled. And I wondered if a little swat on his bottom would've gotten him to at least listen to his mother.
I have spanked my oldest DD once. Well deserved IMO. Otherwise, DH and I just don't do it. Luckily, we have very good kids :)
I agree with Ovadue and her comment about heathen kids. I am appalled by the amount of rude children these days and the parents that let them get away with it. I will never understand why these parents let their kids walk all over them.
Amms - totally off topic to this post, but you were asking about Mrs Powell. Well, there she is, posting here as Emily! :)
I will not spank.... There are other methods to get your point across.
I was spanked as a kid. I was always given warning first and if I chose to ignore the warning, I WAS spanked. It was 1-2-3 and if 3 was verbalized, that was IT. There were no second chances, no talking your way out of it, and definitely no 2 and a half, 2 and a quarters!!!
That, in itself, is part of the problem with kids these days. Too many second chances. Parents need to think about what they say, say what they mean, and mean what they say.
Anyway, back to the spanking... I have spanked a couple of times, but I used 3 fingers to graze the edge of her butt, not an open palm. It might sting a little, but that is about it. And I did it when safety is an issue and DD could be seriously hurt if I didn't nip her actions in the bud. It's not an angry thing. She looked angry at me, but after a minute or two, she came to me, gave me a hug, and said SHE was sorry. I returned the feelings to her and we hugged. She's 2 and "gets it."
We called it a swat and she got the message. On a couple of occasions she tried the same behavior and I asked her if she wanted a swat. She said "no swat" and got back "in line."
IMO, properly done, you only have to do it a couple times and the message sticks.
PS - love the "defense attorney" comment, ovadue!!!
Nikki Thanks!
*waving at Emily*
(sorry about the hijack)
Amber!
*waves back*
long time lurker, 1st time poster here. Waving!! Hi Gina!!! Hi Emily! It's been a long time!
I always was fine with spanking, but dh was abused and is hugely against it. His thought process is that once you raise your hand to your child, you've kind of played all your cards, kwim? His siblings still thank him for the time that he grabbed the wiffle ball bat out of his mom's hands and broke it over his knee, proclaiming, "You will NEVER use this on any of us again." Of course, she also once put his head through a wall. Anyway it seems to me that a spanking is a pretty immediate and quick consequence with an awful lot of controversy. My godsons (note, not a mom, here) seem to fear losing video game time or toy jail much more.
I'm with Ovadue on this one! Norah will be spanked when she is old enough to understand the cause/effect nature of discipline.
I was spanked (and smacked with the wooden spoon a few times by my Italian grandmother)- and can safely say that I probably deserved each and every one of those whacks. Feeding my brother dogfood, pushing him down the stairs, doing something after being told repeatedly not to...yep, that's a paddling.
Funny story- when my cousins were younger, my aunt (their mom's sister) used to live with them, and would thus babysit them often. Once, on the streetcar the younger one (who was 4 or 5 at the time) started acting up bigtime- kicking his older brother, running around and bumping into other people, yelling- generally being a pill. My aunt warned him, and he didn't believe her (he in fact told her that she wasn't going to spank him b/c they were on the streetcar). She pulled him over her lap and gave him a smack on the butt (fully clothed)- in front of the entire streetcar. There was silence....until she said to everyone who was watching "don't tell me that you weren't thinking about doing it too". To which they responded with "you got that right".
...and you best believe my cousin didn't misbehave on the streetcar again! (His words- "You bembarrassed me!!!")
I am the mother of many and yes, I have (when necessary) spanked them all but they have also all been warned before getting spanked.
Now that my kids are getting older, I haven't spanked any of them for years. It's more effective to take their possessions away or ground them. Taking away a cell phone or Wii for a few days or even a week, is a more suitable form of punishment for an older child.
I have some of the most well behaved children and I'm sure it's because they know I'm not afraid to spank them.
I was spanked a couple of times as a kid. I was warned over and over again and would not listen. It was a spank, swat, hit, whatever you call it and was the only thing that got my attention.
Then the fear of the spank got me in line after that.
Since I'm not a parent yet, I'm not sure how I will handle. But it irritates me to no end when I see adults trying to reason with four year olds who are completely out of control, when I think they actually need a good spank to let them know who is in charge.
I still can be spanked by my dad, the fear of that keeps me in line with my dad since I have a very outspoken mouth.
Tims_Diva, Hey! sorry about your dh's childhood. That was abuse, not discipline.
I did spank my children as a last resort when all else failed.
There is a HUGE difference between a swat on the bottom and child abuse.
For those of you who DON'T have children yet and said you would NEVER spank as there are other 'methods', I might reserve judgement on that until you actually have children, your thoughts might change. The word never is a very long time.
Ugh- the spanking debate is continuing to rage on.
Hey, did you know that you are inflicting "emotional pain" and you are making up for your own shortcomings as a parent if you spank? Oh, but they aren't being judgemental. Riiight.
I betcha some of these peoples' kids are the ones that annoy the crap out of the rest of us in the grocery store, doctor's office, etc.
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