So, during the last post, I asked if you had a plan for you and your family after your baby arrived. Most of you said that you had a plan. Did any of you have a plan that included bankruptcy while TTC? Shouldn't you get your finances straight before having a child?? ESPECIALLY if you planning for one???
SO, is it also responsible to actively TTC while you are declaring bankruptcy? Do you think it's a little selfish and unfair to the child(ren)?
Can you tell that this REALLY irritates the hell out of me??
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
Is this in response to any one particular post you read or does this happen often?
It doesn't make sense to me at all to be actively TTC while going through bankruptcy. I would think people could wait a little while to get back on their feet and get back to TTC later.
I guess it depends on the situation, though. I am most likely going through early menopause, so if I were in the same situation, I don't know if I could resist the urge to TTC for very long if I knew the clock was ticking. I'm having a hard time setting my biological clock aside for just a few months while waiting for insurance to kick in. I can't imagine waiting years to come out of a bankruptcy.
I guess some people just have the mindset that it will all work out in the end. Children are born into poverty every day and parents manage to keep them blissfully unaware of the troubles.
I'm one of the least sympathetic people you'll meet when it comes to people not being financially responsible, but this one kind of makes me think, "tough call."
As for actively TTC while on welfare, don't get me started!!!! ;) That's where I draw the line.
I think it's very irresponsible to be actively ttc while filing. If you've already filed and are trying to re-establish yourself then I think you need to make that decision on a case by case basis. If you've got your feet back under you go ahead. Life shouldn't stop for 7-10 years but I think you need to be stable again. But if you're currently in the situation where you can't pay bills then you need to try to NOT have another child (and expense).
Obviously, JMO. Everyone needs to make their own decisions but sometimes their thought processes kill me.
Are they declaring bankruptcy to hold off creditors?
Whatever, while I agree with Lisa about "some people's mindset", I think that actively TTC'ing is foolish and selfish.
What REALLY gets me going are the women TTC'ing while they already have young children, no money for gas or new clothes for the children, no money to buy good food, but luckily they get formula from WIC...ARGH.
Remember Becky?? She got booted from FF (I think for asking for money??) and went to at least three other boards, whining and crying "poor" everywhere. I actually sent her a box of baby clothes and blankets, and that cow NEVER thanked me. I finally PM'ed her to ask if she GOT the box--I knew she did bc of delivery confirmation--and she said, "yes,thx." Loser. She was one of the ones crying about gas money and TTC'ing.
On the other hand, TTC'ing is no guarantee of pgcy. Maybe they're declaring bankruptcy to have a fresh start?
OMFG. Don't get me started on this. I will say lots of NOT NICE things. LOTS. Maybe even mention a urine cake or two.
WTF?
We have debt, yes, but we got ourselves into it, and we'll work to get out of it.
To quote someone from the Bankruptcy thread "We are doing Chapter 7 b/c we can't afford to pay ANY of it back". Huh? Did you think it was free $$??
Sometimes people get in a tough situation, but come on people.
Okay, my opinion.
I completely agree with those who say it is irresponsible to actively TTC while filing or immediately following a bankruptcy. Just as I believe that if you *know* you are gonna have to file for public assistance that yous shouldn't be trying.
I know that for some it is an accident that they get pregnant and I commend those who birth their child and either care for them or put together an adoption plan.
I think that those who do try during these times are suffering from an "entitlement" frame of mind. They don't put the well-being of their child ahead of their own desires. There are so many "what if's" when it comes to having children that to be in sinking sand with finances is just goin to make things *that* much harder. Even with tryin for three years--if we at any point had suffered such financial hardship that we couldn't pay our bills then we'd stop trying.
I seriously could go on and on about this--but I won't cause I think you get where i stand.
OFF TOPIC :
Mrs Jar you wasn't gone long...Stormy being nice to you ??
Don't ya think PM's should be private?
warning: nothing on FF is private not even a personal message , what's the point of calling them personal then??
:)
there are situations where it is stupid and irresponsible, and then there are times when it is the right thing to do (file bk). i don't care as much about someone filing bk and ttc as much as say, dh/dw not having a job and all parties living at home with the ILs. if no one has a job, no insurance, nuthin', you ain't got no business ttc.
my brother did not file bk, he and his wife did credit counseling - which ruined their credit just the same and took YEARS to work through. he worked two jobs, she worked one, and did side stuff when she could - it was so hard. now, they were NOT ttc (past the age for that).
just thinking about them as a sample - if they had asked me (they didn't) i would've said BK!!! medical bills from my neice having cancer as a child really wrecked their finances. even if they were ttc, i would've said BK, so that they could get room to breathe. they both work (not high paying jobs, but they have insurance) and have a nice (modest) house and are great parents.
just trying to think of an example where BK and ttc wouldn't have been horrible.
people might have judged them otherwise from the outside - but i know that it would've been the right thing for them (with or without ttc.)
My question is why even air this sort of private information to a bunch of women who don't even know you??? It seems a sort of irrelevent argument to even discuss in my opinion. I'm sure each and every one of us has a "thing" that might be viewed from another as a reason to not TTC.
The real issue is airing out your dirty laundry on Fertility Friend. STUPID!
OT--Carrie's Whaaaa? post just got deleted, right when it was getting funny!
WTF. I'm sure somebody reported her for the Shriner's Hospital logo in her siggy, even though I implied that somebody was traumatized by the sock monkey.
It's just so STUPID to report somebody for having the word "children" in her siggy. And her dh IS a Shriner. WTF is wrong with people? Can somebody really be so crazed that she can't see a mention of a children's hospital without reporting it?
If you can't afford your life than you have no right bringing another life into this world. IMHO.
I don't begrudge the people that have to file BK due to unexpected expenses that they could not recover from (lost job, medical). I am blessed to be well off enough that I have a savings account and am thoroughly insured for emergencies. A lot of people don't have that benefit. What kills me are the people that live the life of luxury and then declare BK or the people that stock up on goods before they declare BK.
Do I want a new minivan this year? Yes! Could I afford it if I drained my savings? Yes. Is that the responsible thing to do, NO. I feel this is often (not always) the difference between the people that file BK and the ones that don't. **There is always exceptions to that, I am talking the gross majority.**
Lovelifex101 said,
"OFF TOPIC :
Mrs Jar you wasn't gone long...Stormy being nice to you ??
Don't ya think PM's should be private?
warning: nothing on FF is private not even a personal message , what's the point of calling them personal then?? :)"
I was given a 24 hour time-out for pm-ing my BG about sending flowers to one of our girls in the BG who is in labor. It was the FF mod not stormy that I corresponded with. And yes I think pm's should be private. I told them it wasn't like I was conspiring to cause an uproar on FF! I wanted to do something good for a fellow sister who has been a great support in our BG.
As for the topic at hand, dh and I were not financial stable when I became pregnant the first time. It was not planned and we had a difficult time. For the other two we made sure to have our affairs in order so that I could be a SAHM. I worked through the pregnancy with both dd's.
I think if your contemplating bankruptcy, you are not ready financilly for a child to raise. ~JMO~
I don't care if you ttc while declaring bankruptcy just as long as you are not sucking off the Federal and State governmental Tit.
Get out and work, try it! Only things worth anything are things worth working for!
O lord !!!!!
to early for a friday fucktard, so it's tuesday fucktard!
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/Circles/viewtopic.php?t=1446989
Wish i could post the image instead of the link , but maybe the blog owner will help me out !
I think it depends on the situation. Like I've said, if you wait until you can *afford* a baby, you'll never have one. BUT if you are filing bankruptcy and actively TTC with no medical reason why you shouldn't/can't wait, then I don't necessarily agree.
Post a Comment