There is a new technique she should try. It's called communication.
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13 comments:
Maybe if he's FOR SURE on board, LACK of communication would get the job done. I mean, don't trick him, but just don't tell him he's performing. Keep all those pee sticks under wraps and stop talking about CM and such. Some guys just can't handle the pressure I guess. I can understand that.
Like OMG...peeing on a stick is just SO much more daunting than oh I don't know the idea of impending fatherhood. And like OMG, you have only been trying for 2 months oh yes he SHOULD RUSH to the doctor, and you should RUSH to the RE...go straight too IVF because there is a major problem! *said in my best valley girl impression*
I think any wife who would say "he can't manage an orgasm during my fertile window" needs to be smacked, and I am typically a non violent person.
Give him a break, it is only month #2. She is probably putting so much pressure on him that I can see why he would have issues. She's "temping, POAS, taking 18 vitamins, bloodwork," blah blah blah.
Why even try for 2 months if you are going to need a break from TTC for a few months?
Bah, I am tired of hearing people complain after 2 lousy months!
Wow. Lots of pain in that post. I can feel it. And I've been in a VERY similiar situation myself. But it is never good to be angry with your partner over performance issues.
If he is stressing and having performance issues during her fertile time, then she should keep that information to herself and keep the pressure off of him - since it seems (by what she said) that he is able to perform at other times without issue.
Some guys just can't handle the pressure of being put on the spot like that. While I understand and feel her pain, she needs to have some compassion and understanding for her DH.
Sha obviously hasn't figured it out yet. Maybe she just needs to keep her mouth shut during her "fertile window" and just seduce him. Then, eh will have no excuses. LoL
Sounds to me like he just doesn't want kids.
ITA with all the above--she is just putting TOO MUCH pressure on him.
If she was smart, she'd seduce him a few times a month, keeping quiet about whether she's fertile or not. Most men have NO clue about their wives' cycles, although mine knows when I have PMS. LOL.
It does kind of sound like he's not ready, but it COULD be the pressure if she's yakking and yakking about how they HAVE to dtd, RIGHT NOW.
And FFS, men don't want to see OPKs and hear about CM--it takes all the ROMANCE out of it. It makes it MECHANICAL.
Pee sticks are different, if there's a + HPT. THEN you can get creative and serve it up on a cake or a hamburger bun. Or make a table centerpiece, if you have about 10. Although I never showed mine to my dh-just told him I was pg with tears in my eyes.
ITA, she needs to keep her mouth shut. Don't tell him when her window is, don't tell him all the things and times she's peed on something, just jump him :)
Maybe by month 3 she'll figure it out, and by month 4 she'll *finally* be preggo :)
I sincerely wish her the best, I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. She'll learn to be aloof about CM, temp's, fertile window, waiting to O, 2ww...just as the rest of us did. She sounds like a newbie so I'll cut her some slack.
You know, I was thinking about it some more, and why would she be having all these blood tests after just 2 months of TTC?
And rushing him off to see a doctor because of a couple of times when he hasn't gotten it going is jumping the gun, IMO.
Wow. All this fuss after 2 months? I started freaking at 6 months and was told many times even then that I didnt need to worry.
And my DH and I got in to it one time because he would get drunk when I was ovulating (I wouldnt tell him I was ovulating, btw, Id whisper to him earlier in the day "Hey, be ready tonight, Im going to wear something special for you"), and we finally sat down and talked about it. After that he kept a rough idea of my cycle, just not the specifics, and would sometimes surprise me before I could.
I was under the impression that a lot of women that were TTC went through this...Im fairly certain that it is quite normal since similar things are covered in SEVERAL books Ive seen on infertility.
And I'm sorry, Im all for going after a goal with your whole heart and doing all you can, and I may be overstepping here, but isnt paying to use a fertility site before youve even been TTC for 2 months a bit premature?
I wouldn't rush to judge her on educating herself about her body and doing all she can to promote good fertility. I mean, who knows...maybe she is like me and knew well before TTC that she would have fertility problems. I was diagnosed with PCOS and told it would take "a small miracle" to get pregnant 3 YEARS before we ever began trying. I say if you don't know her situation you can't really judge.
The part that made me laugh is her absolute conviction that he's passive-aggressively denying her what she wants. How dare he!?!?!?!? Doesn't he know that she's supposed to get EVERYTHING she wants.
Shit, talk about pressure. I have learned that if I pressure my husband he can't cum. She needs to get off his back. Maybe he can't ejaculate because he is worried about not making her happy.
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